Covert narcissists are the most cunning, conniving and difficult personalities to detect. They are gifted chameleons who are socially skilled and capable of expressing a convincing pseudo empathy. Most people are fooled and disarmed by the covert narcissist.
Here are some examples of how they operate:
1. Covert narcissists use secrecy and stealth to control your emotions and weaken you emotionally and psychologically.
2. Covert narcissists demean and humiliate you when you are the most vulnerable.
3. Covert narcissists convince others they are good people who can be trusted and are worthy of your respect.
4. The covert is obsessed with ultimate control over others, especially those closest to him or her.
5. Covert narcissists constantly plot and plan how to manipulate and exploit their competitors.
Learn how to recognize the covert narcissist by studying his hidden traits, baits and snares. They play the “good person” or the “martyr” roles to the hilt. They are like fine method actors. If you don’t recognize them at first, don’t blame yourself. They are so clever and smooth with their psychological camouflage they are very difficult to detect.
Pay close attention to the intuitive cues that you are receiving and don’t wave them off as irrational or insignificant. Embrace these insights.
Develop a regular practice of psychological, emotional and mental grounding. This includes a form of meditation, prayer, affirmations, quiet times with Nature and other forms of activity that are calming and restorative. Part of this practice is instilling a sense of firm respect for your personal psychological boundaries. As you move through each day, develop a deep appreciation for your unique authentic original self.
An essential part of the healing and restorative process is in activating the parasympathetic nervous system. Here we recover, retreat into peace and calmness and restore our sense of security and psychological grounding. One of the finest ways to move into the parasympathetic is through acupuncture. This ancient Chinese medical practice the patient is treated to balance all of the systems of the body including the calming and balancing of the nervous system. So often if you have lived with and put up with the abuse of a narcissistic personality, you body and mind are in a state of fight or flight mode. Acupuncture is a powerful method for helping the patient to shift into the rest, repose and restorative mode.
Another pathway to the parasympathetic is through engrossing ourselves in beauty in all of its miraculous forms. Whether it is Nature and our immersion in its beauty and mystery or finding an art form that we love, the experience of beauty puts us into the center of the parasympathetic nervous system. Here we feel at home and secure.
You are on the road to life healing. Always remember and value who you are as a unique individual. Pay close attention to your intuition: our protector, guide and the deep source of perpetual inspiration and creativity.