First of all, let me say the kind of giving up I'm talking about is not the same as quitting. It's not a defeated negativity. I'm talking about a very specific state of mind that could also be called surrender, a state where one part of your mind yields to another, more powerful, part of you.
The problem with highly determined types is that they become so fixated on an exit that they drive and push way beyond what is actually good for them. They may well achieve their objective but it can be at a high price. As a therapist I often work with people who have exhausted themselves through constantly going beyond their healthy limits.
The other problem with pushing single mindedly towards a goal is that there can be an inflexible mentality that starts to develop. That inflexibility may mean other opportunities may be missed that are actually better in the long run than the initial goal.
By developing a more relaxed, open ended outlook toward your goals you leave the door open to bigger and better opportunities.
So how does this fit in with giving up?
In terms of goals it is giving up a rigid attachment to what you want. In his book The Sedona Method Hale Dwoskin talks about developing a state of mind called 'hootlessness'. This is where you set a goal but you do not give a hoot if you make it or not!
On the face of it you might think this is ridiculous and it would stop you from ever achieving anything. But in actual fact the reverse is true. Hootlessness is the same as surrender. It is a state where you relax and become open to a greater part of your mind. You could see this as the source of intuition and inspiration, the driving force behind your creativity. By mentally giving up to it, by yielding to it, you open up an internal channel of communication that can navigate you through difficult times as well as helping you achieve your goals.
But even beyond the realization of goals this state of giving up helps you transcend your everyday state of mind, and that that moment you touch greatness. It's not a state that is based on consequences either, it's just a simple state of power and contentment, of love and creativity.
An exercise that develops this state is this 3 step meditation.
1. Sit with your eyes closed with your awareness in your body. Notice how your body is feeling. Notice where there is tension and where there is relaxation.
2. Imagine a very powerful, calming presence is about to come into you. Be open, even ask it to come into you if you want. Sometimes imagine that presence as a color flowing through you.
3. Then just wait, mentally yielding to your own creative power.
You may need to stay with it for a few minutes. The mind can be very resistant. But keep practicing and you'll feel the benefits. I find this is a great way of relaxing and of dealing with difficult situations. It's also an effective way to stimulate your creativity. Perhaps more importantly it lets you, just for a few moments, to experience greatness – just by giving up!